20-Somethings

On Monday evening, July 17th, I met with our daughter’s Life Group, a small group ministry of Portland First Church of the Nazarene.  This is a group of young adults, almost all of them in their late 20s.  I asked to meet with them because I wanted to hear their responses to a situation in the church I’m trying to understand – the exodus of young adults from the church.  Seven from the group were able to attend.  I asked them why they attend church when so many of their peers do not, even those who graduated from a Christian college.

The most frequent response was COMMUNITY.  These young adults have found a place to belong in the church, a gathering from which they find meaning and purpose.  In a variety of ways they said that the key to an effective church is the relationships, not the programs.  They stated this perspective with a noticeable emphasis.  Some told of attending a church, but not feeling connected, which leads to a second response.

This group feels quite strongly that AUTHENTICITY is essential in today’s world.  This requires, they said, that the church be a safe place where people can be vulnerable with each other, where even “misfits” are accepted, where the congregation is a genuine reflection of God’s grace.  They also said that to be authentic does not require have an answer for every question.  In fact, they noted, their peers see easy answers as an indicator of inauthenticity.

Counterpoint for the authenticity statements was the frequent use of the term “social club” in reference to the church and the teen groups in which they participated.  The statement was made that one of the reasons 20-somethings have moved out of the church is because in their experience the life of the congregation had been reduced to a social gathering with little or no spiritual fervor.  They stated that the church needed to return to a focus on Jesus, a conviction that probably influenced the choice of their current study book, The Secret Message of Jesus: Uncovering the Truth that Could Change Everything by Brian McLaren.  These young adults acknowledge that the church has some things that must be unlearned.  Some deconstruction needs to occur.  They believe that existing congregations should assess all current programs, then be willing to quit doing some things that do not foster spiritual life.  The church needs to give up its dependency on programs and consumerism, and be real as a community of faith.

Consistent with their call to community and authenticity, these young adults said that forming relationships with non-Christians is the key to building the kingdom of God.  One person made the statement, “Our generation will not respond to ‘believe now or go to hell.’” Instead, they acknowledged that it is essential for Christians to go as Jesus followers, not to rely solely on people coming to the church.  But they were quite adamant about going without the ulterior motive of getting people to come to church.  That comes back to authenticity.  Some acknowledged that they weren’t sure how to work that out.  Others confessed that they weren’t even trying.  One talked about a relationship that has developed where the other couple is now saying “What do you think about …? We value your perspective.”  Their friendship is bearing fruit.

I’m impressed with how similar the things I heard last night are with what I’ve been reading on the emerging church.  Only one of those present last night has done any study of postmodernity and how the church might respond.  What this group told me confirmed what I’ve been reading.  And they confirmed the direction we’re moving as a group intending to plant a new church.  At the end of the night I was very encouraged – the church will be different in the years ahead because of people like those I spent the evening with last night.